191. Conversations that Connect with AJ Harbinger

Meaningful social connection does not always come naturally. And during the pandemic, it has been extra challenging to learn how to connect while at a distance. AJ Harbinger offers strategies to relate in deeper ways, on and off the screen. Many of us have felt isolated during the pandemic, and yet, it’s anxiety-provoking to re-open again! In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Diana and AJ Harbinger, co-founder of The Art of Charm, Inc, provide expert insights on connecting with people through vulnerable, authentic conversation. Together they discuss the importance of sitting with silence, how to let your values guide your behavior in relationships, and much, much more. Take some pressure off yourself, step into a more meaningful connection, and listen to this episode today!

Listen and Learn:

  • Diana and Debbie apply AJ’s wisdom to reopening and reconnecting with people after the pandemic 
  • Practical advice for building more comfortable, relaxed connections with others 
  • How to captivate people using conversational skills
  • Rules, recommendations, and practical tips for being a more captivating presenter on non-traditional presentation platforms (looking at you, Zoom!)
  • AJ’s ultimate tips and tricks for getting your audience to remember your material
  • How to engage in meaningful connection with people online
  • What it means to ‘filter people’ in or out 
  • How to use emotion as a way to connect
  • AJ’s personal background with connecting to people and the history behind how his values guided him to this point in his career
  • Practical advice from the current AJ to the past AJ (and for all of us struggling with major decisions)
  • About John Gottman’s work and how it has influenced AJ
  • The four horsemen of relationships and how they might be impacting your relationships with others and with yourself
  • Three types of captivating questions that can help you explore another person more meaningfully
  • Why it’s so important to sit with awkward silences
  • Some emotional avoidance strategies that can be problematic in building meaningful connection
  • How AJ implements these strategies with his team
  • On a scale from 0-10 how awesome is Michael Herold
  • AJ’s answers to all of your questions including ones about tone and conflict in relationships, mirroring as a communication tool, and much more!


About AJ Harbinger:

AJ Harbinger

AJ Harbinger is a relationship expert, podcaster, public speaker, Fortune 100 executive consultant, and co-Founder of The Art of Charm, Inc. Over the last 13 years, AJ has trained thousands of people on how to unlock and channel their inner charisma to effortlessly connect with others, and harness the power and opportunities that come with building high-value relationships.

Related Episodes:

Join the discussion

1 comment
  • Diana and AJ, thank you so much for your conversation.

    For me, it encapsulates, explores and models so many of my questions and struggles with motivational interviewing, giving suggestions and ultimately, connection.

    … Both personally and professionally. 🙂

    Diana, there was a beautiful moment in which you paused for a moment and modelled an uncomfortable silence, and the vulnerability and connection that flooded in for me was poignant.

    Thanks again.

Instagram feed @offtheclockpsych

Instagram has returned empty data. Please authorize your Instagram account in the plugin settings .


Episode 191