194. How to Be (and raise) an Adult with Julie Lythcott-Haims

In this episode of Psychologists Off The Clock, Jill and Julie Lythcott-Haims, “adulting” expert and author of How to be an Adult, discuss what is really involved in “adulting”. Listen in to this episode for practical advice on how to “adult”, how to raise adults, and how to foster adulting behaviors in young adults and older teenagers. 

Listen and Learn:

  • Jill and Diana’s personal experiences with “adulting”, parenting, and how this differs across generations
  • Julie’s expert definition of “adulting”
  • How to encourage older teens and young adults to follow their heart and make deliberate, value-based choices while they’re becoming independent
  • Practical advice from Julie on how to encourage your childrens’ value-based pursuits while maintaining boundaries and encouraging legitimate pursuits
  • Some small (but impactful!) steps you can take to become more independent in contexts that don’t support your independence
  • The inside-scoop on some of the practical self-help tips and tricks lists inside Julie’s book
  • The functions and consequences of micromanaging your child (regardless of their age)
  • How your behaviors as a parent might actually be creating the exact outcomes you’re trying to avoid
  • The nine basic ways young adults can learn how to fend for themselves
  • Julie’s thoughts on how to encourage young people to be authentic in their pursuit of true human connection in this age of technology and social media


About Julie Lythcott-Haims:

Julie Lythcott-Haims believes in humans and is deeply interested in what gets in our way. She is the New York Times bestselling author of the anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult. Her TED Talk on the subject was one of the top talks of 2016, and in 2020 she became a regular contributor with CBS This Morning on parenting. Her second book is the critically-acclaimed and award-winning prose poetry memoir Real American, which illustrates her experience as a Black and biracial person in white spaces. Her third book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, will be out in April 2021. She also wrote the foreword for Writing Memoir, a book of writing prompts developed by Julie and The Writers Grotto for those hungry to share their lived experience. 

Julie is a former corporate lawyer and Stanford dean, and she holds a BA from Stanford, a JD from Harvard, and an MFA in Writing from California College of the Arts. She serves on the boards of Foundation for a College Education, Global Citizen Year, and Common Sense Media, and on the advisory board of LeanIn.Org. She volunteers with the hospital program No One Dies Alone.

She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her partner of over thirty years, their young adults, and her mother. 

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Episode 194