179. How to Be An Adult in Relationships with Dave Richo

Attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. These five words (Richo’s “Five A’s”) are necessary ingredients to any healthy relationship, but many of us don’t start off with them in our relationship pantry. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, co-host Yael is joined by Dr. Dave Richo, author of How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving. Join us as Yael and Dave discuss the power of the Five A’s. You’ll learn how fulfilling these needs affects both our personal growth and our behavior in relationships. So grab your partner (and your ingredients!), and join Yael and Dave today to learn more about how to be an adult in your relationship. 

Listen and Learn: 

  • Yael and Debbie’s real life hacks to meeting “The Five A’s”
  • What makes Dave’s, How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving, so enduringly helpful for people
  • Dave’s expert breakdown of the ideal goals for adults in relationships
  • Professional, evidence-based advice for how to (healthily) orient around “The Five A’s” in your relationship
  • How your childhood experiences may be impacting your relationship 
  • The way mindfulness applies to relationships
  • Dave’s approach to productively reframing and working with blame and feelings of rage towards your partner
  • About avoiding landslides of grief in relationships when years-old mountains of ill will loom nearby (and why it’s important to fully experience that grief instead!)
  • Practical exercises for reframing your orientation in unhealthy relationships 
  • How Dave and Yael might apply “The Five A’s” and some of Dave’s tools in therapy with a couple (READ: free thought-exercise for therapists listening in!)
  • What to do when you’re feeling unloved or unlovable


About Dave Richo:

David Richo, PhD, MFT, is a psychotherapist, teacher, workshop leader, and writer who works in Santa Barbara and San Francisco California. He combines Jungian, poetic, and mythic perspectives in his work with the intention of integrating the psychological and the spiritual. His books and workshops include attention to Buddhist and Christian spiritual practices. One of his best sellers, How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving, is going to be coming into its 20th anniversary this fall. Find out more about Dr. Richo on his website, 

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Episode 179